I don't know about you, but I'm pooped! I know we all have days when we're just spent and today I keep hearing the word of encouragement I've given to others at times, "He gently leads those who are with young...let His gentleness lead you." (from Isaiah 40:11).
My precious man has been totally wiped out with the influenza virus. Now, we've had our share this winter of yucky cold viruses that knocked each of us for a loop, but what my dh has had for the last 4 days is the kind of virus that makes you realize why so many people die from the flu each year. It was bad!
Amidst my man's sickness, the everyday needs of managing a home, and training up rowdy boys in the ways of the Lord, I have had this emotional heaviness- meditating on Christ's passion for me and all humanity and the promise of scandalous grace that comes with the truth of His resurrection. I watch my husband, I look at my boys, I listen to the Easter message, soaking it up like a dry sponge, and instantly pouring out salty tears...all I can think is, "Lord, it's so ridiculous. No one would ever naturally believe this. I'm a total fool to this world, to my own flesh! I believe in the Lamb of God! I love the Lamb of God!" I was listening through the ears of an unbeliever and a child who both look at you with looks that say, "HUH?! What?! The Lamb of God?! What are you talking about?!" Or at least they look at me that way.
So I wonder how you mommas are doing today? It is a battle. It is exhausting. And this morning as I was talking to the Lord about all this I realized, "Lord you're worth it! You're worth my exhaustion!" The laboring in love we do as moms of genuine faith in Christ is exhausting. We are being poured out on the offering of our children's lives to see Christ formed in them. There's no guarantee all will be easy or the outcome will even be what we dream, but there is the promise that God will not forget our labor of love, and that when we spend ourselves out of a heart of worship, He receives it as a sacrifice of praise...a living sacrifice!
I don't get the response I want from my husband and kids 9 times out of 10. In fact, I face a purifying, fiery resistance through them to see if I'm serving the Lord out of a worshipful heart in all I do or looking for their approval. One things for sure, the more I teach Christ through the Word to my kids, even with my precious husband in ear shot, I eliminate the possibility of doing it to please them. As Paul said, if I still sought to please men then I wouldn't be a bondservant of Jesus Christ (Galatians 1:10).
I'd appreciate your prayers. I love a the Lamb of God, and I want my kids to know Him, and my husband too, and that makes me a total fool in this house... and a fool I'll gladly be for my Jesus who became a spectacle for me and wasn't ashamed!